Who's sorry now?

An old girlfriend once told me I was never going to make any money. Well, the jokes on her. I just sold one of my kidneys.

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My wife does not threaten me with divorce if I do something stupid or I refuse to do what she asks. A simple "I'm going to kill you" is...

If you think being single and dating women is tough, try dating women after you get married.

My wife knew I was a sex addict before we got married. But with her help, I was able to quit cold turkey.