Sex store true story

Years ago, I was dating an adventurous girl who talked me into visiting a sex store. I saw some of the sex toys hanging on the wall like sides of beef at a butcher shop. I told her “I can’t compete with that. Why the hell did you bring me in here?” She told me I was “boring” and that some of the dildos in here “might be fun to use.”

“Unless your fantasy is clubbing seals with a giant dick, there is nothing fun about those. Hell, those wouldn’t even fit in your dresser drawer. If you buy one, you’d have to slide it under your bed like a piece of exercise equipment. Do any of them float? If I was drowning, I’d still think twice before grabbing on to one. How would you clean it? Strap it to the hood of your car at the car wash? If we buy one, are they going to help us carry it to the car or do you want to pay the extra hundred dollars to have it shipped?”

She hit me and told me to shut-up before I could say anything more. We left the store without buying anything and a week later she broke up with me. She wanted to date a guy who was not as boring as I was. Or maybe she wanted to date a guy who could compete with those sides of beef hanging in the sex shop?